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PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE : Before we get into this there is something that everyone needs to know. There is a right direction to ride this trail. There used to be a no entry sign at the exit of the trail but it has since disappeared. We share the trail with other riders (riding the right direction or not) and trail walkers. The trail can be quite crowded and can be particularly hazardous on the weekends. So when you get on the trail, ride responsibly and PAY ATTENTION. People stop around blind corners and sit astride the trail. Kids run across the path when you least expect it. No one wins if people get hurt on the trail.
Sunday BTT Ride (Pix provided by Beef & Geek

Its 3pm on a wet/hot/slimey/pouring/wonderfully cool Sunday. The family's asleep and the dogs having the day off. You'd think it was going to be just another lazy day but something is stirring at the Bukit Visitor's Nature Reserve Center car park…….No!#@$@# its not the Macques….it’s the gathering of a higher evolved tribe, it’s the bunch called Team Absolut.

The calm before the storm 
(from L to R : Mike, Lardo, Doc, Stick, OM, Sandman, Keith, Beef)
It'll be 3.30pm before the gaggle of riders decides to get a move on. Excuses will be given, rated upon a scale of 1-10, The C.O.W. (Chicken of the Week) award conferred and last minute adjustments (i.e.: who's got a chain tool? my chainsuck's still as bad after I have removed 4 links!!!!) would have been gotten over.
The start of the trouble (the view
from the path leading to the trail)
The view back from the top 
of the first short climb
"Paining hill"

"Hey! Is going to be 2 rounds? Mickey mouse? Team Omarson or the Zoo?" that’s the usual rant as we wind up the first real hill of the day. Everyone bar Beef or Keith walks. Its been a long time since I could remember going up that hill. I must be getting Old, fat or plain lazy.

Elvis making the climb (this line is no longer available folks)
"Whoopee! hill"

The tribe gathers at the top and proceeds to enjoy the first downhill of the day. Beef swears by the right line but methinks the roots on the left have a better thrill factor. The jury 's still out on this. You are catapulted down the slime and pothole filled concrete ramp and up the slope by pure momentum and before long you are there on the other side of the uphill. One caveat, beware of the 'frozen in fear' human that may be standing at the bottom of the concrete slingshot groove and for the muddy patch in the middle of the trail there, that can slow the bike but not you down. (not a good things at anytime) Proclaim your presence with the yodel: "Biiiiiiiiiiikkke" This has worked fine so far. Cranking now to a heart rate of > 150, you grind yourself up to the top of the hillock.

The view just before 
the concrete slingshot
The view from the far 
side of Whoopee hill
Next you will muddle along a relatively flat stage, Elvis jumps, Mike the Wheelie will, as the name suggests, wheelie….meanwhile Lardo will catch his breath.
This is a good time to rest And the rest goes continues..
Watch for the small bumps Ahhh... Feel the sunshine
" Bike N Hike aka 'I need desperate repairs' fork en route"

Do NOT follow the sign that says steep hill and stream crossing or you will have to get off the bike and walk. That said I have never tried it myself except perhaps 4 years ago. So any takers? We usually take the left fork, you come to a near 90 degree right turn. Take it if you want to continue. Go straight through to the bush if you have a burning desire to buy new parts or your chain/any bike part breaks again and you desperately need a new chain/seatpost/tube/tire to continue the afternoon's endorphin chase.

"Plenty Fun Hill"

You'd now be safe by the quarry's edge and preparing for the next downhill.

The downhill after the turn Nice view
Quarry coming up at the top of the trail The quarry on your right. NO ENTRY 
(it's all fenced anyway)
Its fun here. See you at the next fork in the road with the big sign. To fully enjoy the trip here, don't equip your bike with V-brakes or the like, preferably with cantis that have worn out pads. The downhill section is real bumpy and banks to the right. Watch for the pothole at the bottom that could throw off your steering, leading to catastrophic results.
Build up speed so you 
don't change you mind
The point of no return
The view from the bottom..can't 
believe you made it..maybe you didn't...
Watch out for the sharp 
turn and drop on the left!
At the fork, one has 2 choices, up the slow grind on the left fork or up the steep but short switchback on the right. In summary, short route, steep early climb, flattens out at top.(no longer open due to construction adjecent ot the trail - webmaster) Long route, long gentle climb in the beginning with a wicked right turn and steep climb near the top. Both lead you to the same spot equally wasted. 

Here under the trees you might wait for your more wasted friends but most don't. Our advice is to climb the hill and wait at the top. There seem to be fewer mosquitoes there too.

"Slip Sliding' Hill"

Going up Slip Sliding Hill
(this trail is no more)
Doing exactly what we told you not
to..waiting (Doc, Lardo, Elvis & OM)
The only way
up slip sliding
The view back from
the top of the climb
"Pandan grove"

Its through the " Pandan grove" and hence to the most complex part of the course. To make it simple, the choices of routes are divided in to:

  1. Not chicken, I can accept a crash today route (right fork)
  2. I am chicken, I cannot accept a crash today 'cos I have yabba, yabba, yabba….at 7.00pm route or: (left fork)
  3. I want some pain in my thighs/I need the training/I think I am an elite racer route (left turn after selecting option 2)
Decision time. Novices take the LEFT
fork. Everyone else, pick your poison..
This is the view from the chute exit.
Novice exit is on the right. Watch
for traffic from every direction.
Go see and figure which suits your temperament best. One piece of advice here, the first option is really hairy at the bottom with deep ruts and rocks. Throw in the fact that trail walkers seem to pick this route and you get the idea of the obstacles you're up against. There have been a few serious accidents here so be smart.

"Open quarry"

You've made it thus far and it’s the only open area in the whole track. This is where most races at BTT start/end. One can see our rock climbing friends here on the weekends. Not a good place to rest as it is HOT! on dry days. At the other end, we once again slip in the tree line.

Finally, you can see the sky again.
Watch for TCS 'stars' here!

"The Up & Down bit"

Plenty fun here, but don't forget those worn cantis for more fun. Try it….hehe!

One long climb followed by a granite strewn path descent (lots of loose chips here so keep an eye on that sttering) then two short steep climbs. The first of these has an obvious easier line (out wide) but if you are adventurous, try the right, racing line. More finesse than power needed here but it'll allow you to pass on the climb.

It’s a good place to test you brakes and you bike yodel…..Biiiiiiikkke! The 'frozen in my tracks' species of humans tend to gather at the bottom of the chips path to look at the stream. So watch out for them.

This is the view from the top of the climb
just before the rock strewn downhill section.
This the the trail. As dangerous as it
sounds, fast is the way to go here. It's
sketchy so walk it if you're unsure.
More of the same from the other side This is the landing with the
sharp turn to the rider's left.
"The Crossing"

Here you have to dismount unless you can still fine a track to the left of the crossing or you can jump the rails. Unlike slip sliding hill, most of us Absolutees stop to here to complain about the trail, ride, weather etc. It is also here that we decide finally on the path the rest of the ride will take.

Top of the picture is where you came from.
Most riders hang out here for a bit before going on.
Options are at this stage:
  1. Back to the car park.
  2. Mickey mouse (its a looong story, maybe some other day) or
  3. Team Omarson and Zoo

You would hurtle down a nice downhill and hit a T-junction with the BKE directly ahead.

Isn't this a pretty picture... T junction, watch for traffic in all directions..
Option 1: Back to car park along the "PUB pipeline"

Easiest. (whatever that means...)

Take a right towards the PUB pipeline, you'll get to ride right along the pipeline here. The mud is white here with smatterings of red. Don't know why but it tends to be perpetually wet here.

As impossible as it sounds, there
is actually a really good line here.
"Chainsuck hill"

The run along the pipeline ends abruptly with a nice long climb, make sure your chain is clean and well lubed to try this. Most of us don't heed this advice. Two climbs here, the scond of which exposes you to the hot sun/driving rain. So make sure you have enough left in the tank for that final climb.


The slog up the hill is rewarded with a nice jaw shaking straight downhill. Absolutees have been know to boast of speeds in excess of 70 kph here. Absolut bull. Watch for oncoming traffic while screaming down the hill.

Big chainring and crank away..
"Zig-Zag slot"

Its fun here as the wide trail and downslope allow you to take the turns at high speed and splash mud and dirt all over your riding buddies. 

From here it’s a nice time to get your wind back as you wind your way to the stairs.

"The Stairs'

What can I say? You climb it unless you are a trials expert.

There is rumored to be a way around this, but we haven't
found it (but it's more like we haven't even looked)
"Rifle Range"

Quick! Ride this slot or a ricochet bullet gets you in the head. It runs alongside the range as the name suggests. So pray that the SAF/rifle club guys and gals are not Bobo shooters.

To return to the car park, hang a right as you come to the end of the rifle range trail. If you go straight down you will hit Rifle Range road. So don't forget unless you like the climb back after you discover that you are lost.

See the sign, its your
way back to civilization
The view from the carpark. That
last turn can be a killer so watch out..
The ride back to the carpark ends when you meet a fast downhill that ends with a non-eco friendly tire slide to a sharp right hander at the end of the slope. Word of advice, stay seated at the bottom or your wheel is just going to slide down the hill. The ruts don't make it any easier.

Its also endo territory to the uninitiated.

So ends the ride for option 1, remember to look out for cars on your right as you exit the trail. Its now time to boast that you did the trail in less that 18 mins, you could have been faster if only the mud was a bit more packed etc. For the most of us, its barfing/gossip/Oh No! its another round time.

Comments or criticism can be sent to doc@teamabsolut.net

This page was last updated on 02/21/09
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